March is here, the month spring officially arrives. We have had more sunshine in the Cleveland area recently than we are used to this time of year. The daffodils are even peaking out of the soil. I met my daughter at Kingwood Gardens in Mansfield, Ohio earlier this week. It was a chilly but sunny day. A few daffodils smiled at us even though they seemed to be all by themselves, waiting for others to join them in an explosion of color. Beneath the brown stems and rich soil we saw, spring is getting ready to awe us. The winter has provided rest and nourishment for the perennials, the shrubs, and the trees. Soon they will share their beauty with us. Inside the greenhouses we saw such diverse beauty in so many different flowering plants. The world is awakening for all of our senses. We are like the garden. Winter arrives and we hibernate for a bit. Maybe we enjoy a cup of tea with a good book. Maybe we take time to simplify our lives before the nice weather lures us out doors again. What are you looking forward to this spring? Take a minute to reflect on the past few months before you stretch forward into all the colors and joys of spring.
Timing is everything
The October retreat was six weeks ago and I am still reflecting on the weekend six of us had together. I was so glad to be at Lakeside. What a wonderful group of women. I have always believed that who is supposed to be there will be. We enjoyed learning new habits of celebration, sharing delicious meals and a fun movie, nature walks, solitude, community, a scavenger hunt, games, and lots of creativity. We were missing one retreater who ended up not feeling well the day before she was due at Lakeside, but know she will enjoy her time much more next spring when she is feeling better.
During the month of September, I came down with Covid after coming home from an out of state family wedding. I was under the weather for a couple of weeks and missed our second family wedding in Europe. Things happen. After the retreat my husband and I visited our daughter and her family in North Carolina. We were back a week when I pulled a muscle on my side and was once again not 100%. I knew it would heal if I gave it time and patience. I am grateful for a caring husband and good medical care when I need it. And I am ever so grateful that I was 100% for the retreat. I also made a trip to see my mother in Texas during November and had our three sons and their families for Thanksgiving soon after I returned. As December starts, I am almost back to normal and grateful for it all.
We never know what tomorrow will bring. How do you react when something happens you hadn’t planned on? Are you angry? Sad? Do you take it in stride, or do you take it out on the people around you? How can you be patient with yourself and your circumstance? I read many books while I was down and out and enjoyed many a cup of tea. I was fortunate to be able to take the time to heal. I know that if we pay attention to our bodies when they are compromised, we will heal faster allowing us to continue to stretch forward.
Beauty of the Season
How did August arrive so quickly this year? Merriam Webster defines august as “marked by majestic dignity or grandeur.” A great description of this month. Summer allows time for family, vacations, and breaks in our routines. A chance to breathe in the warm air, smell the plants around us, enjoy an ice cream cone, or just sit and listen to waves on the lake. I read yesterday that summer is only half over this week. It doesn’t seem that way. Children will be going back to school in the next couple of weeks, fall decorations are in all the stores, and sunsets are coming earlier each week. The lazy, hazy days of summer seem to be winding down.
This summer my husband and I have had the chance to be with our children and grandchildren. They don’t live near each other, so their time together is precious. The siblings and cousins have so much fun catching up. My favorite part of being with them is watching the joy on each face as all three generations laugh and play.
As I sit at my kitchen counter writing this, I am looking out my back windows. I see trees in full leaf, beautiful flowering impatiens, and lush greenery. Green, my favorite color. Green speaks to me of life. The trees shade us in the heat and allow us to sit on the deck in the evening. It takes most of the summer here in Northeast Ohio for the flowers to come into full bloom but when they do, they brighten my day. Set off by their leaves, the flowers burst into a riot of color. Small things that we often take for granted and don’t take time to enjoy.
Summer. Being in the moment, sharing and making memories, savoring the beauty of nature. Finding joy. Each season has its own beauty.
Summer!
Summer is here! A time when we enjoy picnics, pools, lakes, outdoor sports, and bike rides. A time to take walks without a jacket or sweater. I am not a hot weather fan, but I do enjoy the sunlight of summer and the cool evenings we often have in Northeast Ohio. Grilling, eating on the patio, visiting with family, grandchildren not needing to get up for school tomorrow. The “lazy, hazy days of summer” provide us a chance to savor today. Different flowers are blooming now than in May, each having its own beauty. The trees and lawns are a lush green right now. Fresh fruit and vegetables are becoming available, and will be more so as the rest of summer arrives. We have a chance to remember the fun times of our childhood, when we left home to play with friends and came in when we were hungry or thirsty. Ice cream trucks drove through our neighborhoods every now and then with Good Humor bars for sale. We ran through the sprinklers in the yard to cool off. We got dirty. And we laughed. They were carefree days.
The summer solstice provides a chance to celebrate what’s right with our world today. Enjoy the extra daylight, make it count. Smile, laugh, and be open to everything.
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Who You Are
I saw a quote today that I wanted to share with each of you. Summer is almost here and we are enjoying lush green trees and shrubs, and a bounty of floral colors and scents. With the end of the school year, more daylight, and warmer weather, we have great ideas for what we want to do in the next several months. Vacation plans, picnics, strolls in the park, evening barbecues, bicycle rides, hikes for exploring, listening to nature, swimming in pools or lakes, taking a boat ride or two, visiting family and friends, dinner out on serene patios, music in the park, projects around the house and yard, and so much more. There are so many options, we probably don’t have time for it all. We must take the time to decide which are most important to us. Sometimes we decide what the family wants, what our friends would like to do, what we have to do. This summer, take one day a week to do just what you want to do. It isn’t being selfish, it’s taking care of yourself. Then you will be able to enjoy all the other activities around you. So, keep stretching forward to make the best of the next three months.
“Don't let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions.
It's your life, not theirs.
Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy.
Don't let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are.
If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality, not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people.
There is much more to life than following others' prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself …”
~ Roy T Bennett
Keep stretching
Each retreat is unique based on the women who participate, the topic, and the weather. Here in Ohio, the weather does not always cooperate, but we know how to make lemonade out of lemons. A Finding Purpose Today retreat was held on Saturday, April 1 in Bay Village. It was the first time this topic has been presented in person as the mini-retreat was developed during the first year of Covid as a way for women to gather in community while not being in the same room at the same time. The weather at the beginning of the day was cool, but the sun was shining. A great way to start a retreat. My hope was for an outdoor scavenger hunt during our lunch hour, but about fifteen minutes before lunch the skies turned gray, the wind started blowing, and then the rains came. As women, we know how to change directions, to find a new way. The day was special for those in attendance even without our outdoor time. Here’s hoping the Lakeside retreat weather treats us better at the end of the month.
Stress ?
How is winter going for you? Do you feel stress, anxiety, impatience, sadness, depression? Are your skies cloudy and gray, or full of beautiful blue and white fluffy clouds? I know the sun makes anything look better. I also know that many of us are not aware when we have stress in our lives.
I took a flight to Austin last week to visit my mother. January is always a tricky time to fly from Cleveland, but it is important to me to see her every few months. My flight to Austin was uneventful - everything you want in a flight - on time, plenty of time between flights, and one of my brothers picked me up. My visit with Mom was wonderful. I planned my trip to make it back home the day before my husband’s birthday. He told me it was no big deal if I missed his birthday, but it mattered to me. So my flight home was important to me. The night before the flight I received a text that some flights might be cancelled the next day due to the winter storm Kassandra. I kept watch on the radar but knew my flight was transferring in Atlanta where the storm didn’t seem to be headed. Another brother offered to drive me to the airport for my return flight. As I got in his car, I learned the flight was delayed so we stopped for breakfast before he dropped me off at the terminal to wait. I read a book and felt calm and relaxed as I waited for boarding. My flight was an hour and a half late arriving in Atlanta, leaving me only 15 minutes between flights to disembark, find the next gate, and board the next plane. Was it possible? I didn’t realize how much stress I was feeling until I made it to the gate only 4 doors down from where we landed. They were still boarding and that’s when the tears started streaming down my face. I had made it! I would make it home after all. I think it took most of the flight for me to relax and find peace. I was amazed at how emotional I was. It was just a plane ride delayed by weather. So why was I weepy?
We often don’t realize the stress we carry day to day. It makes it even more important to care for ourselves, to take time to relax, meditate, reflect, play a game, read a book, or just breathe. I don’t feel there is much stress in my life right now. But it can creep up on you at the most unexpected time. This winter, take extra care of yourself. Get the extra rest you need, do something that makes you smile. And when the stress comes out, accept it and let it flow through you. A few days later, I am back to being refreshed and relaxed once again. I was able to enjoy the snow out my window a few days ago as I savored a warm cup of tea and read a good book in my favorite chair. Try not to be hard on yourself when a little stress overwhelms you, know that this too will pass.
Inspiration
January is here. The weather in Cleveland has been unusual. Last week we had a day of 60° with sunshine to boot. Today we are back in the 40’s° with gray skies, more common for the next several months. We left our Christmas tree up longer this year for our Michigan grandchildren’s recent visit, as they spent time with their cousins enjoying the tree and commenting on their favorite ornaments. They picked out several my grandmother made me including a crocheted angel and an decorated eggshell, along with several ornaments made by her, my mother, and myself. My hope is that one of our ornaments will some day have a place on their trees. I watch as the traditions my children enjoyed when they were young are passed on to their children. It’s a big part of what makes the holidays special for me, the time together and the memories we make.
Since I wasn’t putting Christmas away last week, I decided to clean my office. I work better when I know where to find things, and feel a calm when things around me are in order. It took a day to empty the closet and drawers, to organize Stretching Forward files, sewing items, and sorting piles into recycling, Goodwill, and trash. When I start the year in a neat and tidy space, I am more able to create and be motivated. It’s time to bring this new year into focus and continue planning for this year’s retreat offerings. Finding Purpose Today has been online during the past several years due to Covid and I have decided to make it in person April 1 so that we can be together for a day. A mini-retreat for those ready to test the waters of retreats. I am excited about the plans for Stretching Forward for 2023.
Last week I chose my word of the year for 2023 - INSPIRE - to remind me each day to stretch forward. My hope is to inspire myself as well as each of you - to believe in yourself, to be aware of all each of us has to offer, and to celebrate our uniqueness. This year starts with hope of great things, small and large. The sun will shine on many days, the air will be warm, good vibes will be there. All we have to do is keep our eyes and ears open and take it all in. Inspiration is all around us. What inspires you?
Celebrating Life
This is the time of year for celebrations. So many holidays upon us, lots of parties and events to host or attend. It started with Thanksgiving last month and goes through New Years a few weeks away. No matter your religion or age, there is something to celebrate in the last two months of each year.
My husband and I attended a ceremony last weekend for one of our grandsons as he completed all the Cub Scout requirements and crossed over the bridge to Boy Scouts. The bridge had planks with each of the twelve points of the Boy Scout Law for them to walk over. Each boy who crossed the bridge was reminded that Boy Scouts are trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. These fifth graders walked away from being led by adults to becoming responsible for their own decisions and the direction they will go in scouting. Great life lessons.
Two of our grandchildren are in bands and there have been holiday celebrations for each of them this month. A chance to show all they have learned and celebrate with the family they love. The smiles on each face during a concert tells it all.
A group of women I have been part of for almost 30 years will be at my home tonight to celebrate Christmas. We will share memories, good food, and laughter. I look forward to this evening every year. How comforting to have a group of women who are there for each other no matter what.
Earlier this month my husband and I attended a memorial service for a very dear friend. Usually a somber affair, this one was truly a celebration of his life with songs by a choir with over 40 voices who knew him. The memories shared during the service were heartfelt and spoke of the kind person he was. He lived what he believed - that today is a gift and each of us gets to enjoy each ray of sunlight we see and every happy hour we share with friends. All of us can take a lesson from how he led his life - slow to anger, easy to smile, full of laughter, and always up for the next adventure. Being part of his life helps remind me there is always something to celebrate.
There are small celebrations that make a difference as well. The sun shining this morning brought a smile to my face. Waking up in a warm bed, feeling rested, having that first cup of coffee (or tea, in my case). If the season has you feeling down, think of the small things that are in your life - there is always something there to celebrate, or at least put a smile on your face. This can be a difficult season for so many. Consider ways you may warm someone’s heart you know. Make a phone call, send a text, take a tray of cookies to them, listen. Life is too short not to find those moments. Wishing you peace, love, and joy as this year draws to an end.
Fall Fellowship
I have enjoyed the fellowship of so many women in the last month. I led the last Stretching Forward retreat for 2022 at Lakeside in October. Six women found new ways to celebrate what’s right with their lives, enjoy delicious meals, share fun exercises, take walks along the lake, and laugh. We watched Mrs. Harris celebrate her dreams in Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris. We explored new habits to try as a way to celebrate life. My favorite is the concept of blending, very different from balancing. Blending isn’t ‘either/or’ or ‘black/white,’ but more ‘both/and thinking.’ It’s finding the right amount of each item in your life to make the best blend now, like a fine wine. When we shift to blending our lives - a little more of this and a little less of that - we create room for the lights and shadows that are an inevitable part of life. It’s a rhythm. Life flows like a river and as it does, we find the right blend for our life today. Changing even just one thing tomorrow will make a new blend, the right one for that moment. We find more flexibility in blending and, as a result, more celebration in the moment.
Two weeks after the retreat my daughter and I spent an overnight in an airbnb to acknowledge my 70th birthday, a delayed celebration from the past summer. She planned our overnight to be after the retreat, allowing me to be totally in our moment, in the blend of our mother/daughter time. We were an empty nester and a mother of two young children just being together. We hiked at Hocking Hills, discovered a wonderful book store in German Village, did some holiday shopping, and found several delicious meals in local restaurants, all in less than 30 hours. We savored each moment. A respite for both of us and a time to step away from our day to day lives to share each other’s company. As she gets older I hope my eight year old granddaughter adds to our getaway blend. For now, she is learning the importance of self care from both of us.
Last weekend we travelled to North Carolina to celebrate my stepdaughter’s birthday with her husband, daughter, and friends. Another woman in my life full of joy and love she shares with her two year old daughter every day. What a blessing for my granddaughters to watch their mothers and grandmothers living their best lives.
I also spent time on Oak Island with seven retreat leaders I had never met for a collaboration weekend. We took time to share ideas, discuss details of our retreats, and have fun together. It was a wonderful group of women who value sharing their wisdom, giving back to others, lifting up each other, and encouraging every woman to stretch toward their passion. I enjoyed solitary walks on the ocean beach as I listened to the waves, watched the birds near the shore fly away as I came near, found a horseshoe crab shell, and smelled the salty air. We played games, laughed, celebrated a birthday, and learned from each other. It was food for the soul as we bonded and we plan to be together again next spring as a way to continue to encourage each other.
Celebration comes in many forms and there are habits we can learn to make each day special. As you ease into the holiday season, take time to remember what and why you are celebrating, then feel the joy each event brings to the moment. Look for ways to take the stress out of this season and embrace the wonder all around you. I hope you find a delicious blend of love, joy, and peace for the last several weeks of 2022.
Change is in the Air
Fall is here in Ohio. Not sure where the summer went. We are used to having a second summer at some point after the chill hits the air, but this year I came back from 90 degree Texas weather to cool fall weather in the middle of September that hasn’t left. Autumn is my favorite season but somehow this year it arrived too quickly with its crisp air and colorful leaves.
I enjoyed my travels to New Jersey and Texas last month. It was fun to see people I hadn’t seen in over 50 years at my high school reunion in New Jersey, to reconnect, to spend a little time with classmates, even some I never really got to know. Amazing what life does - we had a common bond, our high school years, and that was enough to have 24 hours of connection. All that time in between had melted away. We filled in the gaps since 1970 as if it had been just a couple of years. My heart was full and our time together brought back wonderful memories, stories, and even new friendships.
My trip to Texas was a time for family, to watch my niece, a two year old when I was married in 1997, as she walked down the aisle to share her vows with her best friend as he became her husband. She was a beautiful bride and they are a wonderful couple. I cherish the time I had with my mother who was beautiful as grandmother of the bride. Her eyes sparkled with love for her granddaughter and our family as she watched the ceremony and stayed for the entire reception.
Change. It’s all around us. Classmates age even if we don’t see them for 50 years. Our families grows up to start the next generation as the previous generations start to slow down. The trees lose their leaves in preparation for the coming seasons. We must celebrate the changes in our lives, no matter how small or large. Everything has a time, and a purpose. I am in the autumn of my life - a serene, beautiful spot to be in. I savor the freedom I have at this age, the ability to be active, to mostly do what I want to do, to have the joy of children and grandchildren, of nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, old friends and new friends, to still have my mother. When we accept the changes, we are able to enjoy what life offers today. We can take time to consider what’s in our hearts as we become still and listen.
I hope it is a long autumn - both this year and in my life. Who knows how long either will be. All I know is that autumn is here today, and that is worth celebrating. Stay curious and keep stretching forward - it’s the best direction to travel.
Life
Have you ever had a plan go awry? When that happens, you learn to make the best of what you have. As the quote by Annette Funicello says, “Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” A lesson we all can learn. The year 2022 has been special for my husband and for me - a pair of ‘decade’ birthdays as well as our 25th wedding anniversary. We rented a house in Lakeside, Ohio to celebrate and invited our five children, their spouses, and our eleven grandchildren to join us for a week of fun and sun this summer. Since our invitation, two new grandchildren have been added to the family, making us a group of 23, with grandchildren ages 3 days to 13 years old. We were reminded of how busy life can be with work, children, babies’ schedules, scout camp, band camp, and musical theater. A couple of families needed to arrive late, others needed to leave early. We were happy with whatever they could give us as we set out to make the best of our 48 hours together.
Everyone tested for Covid the day before we were together and all tested negative. Sunday morning found everyone together for family photos and a Hotel Lakeside brunch. Rain was our first glitch that morning as it moved our photos from the lake to indoors. We found that nothing could diminish our time together. Cousins enjoyed playing together, siblings shared parenting duties, and we celebrated for the entire day. Tears of joy came to my eyes as I took it all in. Everyone was in one room, laughing, playing, eating, catching up, and having fun. The rain came back that afternoon during a round of mini-golf and our five year old grandson played through it. Nothing was going to stop him.
One of the dads had to leave us Monday morning for work. He had been fine all weekend but had a positive Covid test when he retested at home. To be safe we tested several others and found only one more positive result. Two families left for home to keep everyone safe and we became a group of thirteen, determined to continue on. Wooden boat rides, splash pads, swimming, ice cream cones, games, cousin fun, and story sharing all continued until the remaining families left for home as originally planned. My husband and I had two days alone when they were all gone. We enjoyed attending seminars, eating out, going to a talent show, and soaking in all Lakeside has to offer. The quarantine period is over now for us all and we are so glad Covid touched only one family.
It wasn’t the week we had imagined, but it was still fabulous. Everyone came and went as their family needed, and we were all able to be together for an entire day. Our two newborns will hear stories of sharing the Maxwell House, how their cousins first met them, how the pandemic sent a few home early, and how we made the most of the time we had. The photos will be around to enjoy forever along with our memories. It may have been the first time we were all together, but it won’t be the last.
Life is wonderful, even when it’s not perfect. Find what makes today wonderful for you and cherish it. It’s really all we have.
Summer Balance
What are your plans for this summer? Are your months full of activities, or are you taking each day one at a time, spending needed time soaking up the sun and warmer weather? Balance in each season matters for our psyche. It’s great to have plans for vacations, picnics, barbeques, trips to the zoo, parks, swimming pools, and being together with family and friends. It’s also great to take time to say no to invitations when you need to rest, sip a glass of wine on the patio, relax in the shade, or just get lost in a good book. Plan a break, a respite, or some solitude, often. What fills your cup back up?
We often want to do everything. We make lists of what we want to accomplish in a day, a week, a season. Crossing items off as we accomplish them gives us satisfaction, but also sometimes, fatigue. Remember there are only so many minutes in a day. You compare today to years ago when you were able to get more done in a day. Did you feel accomplished and proud, or tired and worn out? That was then, and this is today. You don’t have to do it all, and certainly not all in one day. Forget about having everything perfect, and remember you are doing your best. Learn to say no - to people, to items on your to-do list, to projects you have been avoiding.
Do you have people in your life who support you and make you a better version of yourself? Choose to be around those people. Share your time with the people who make you feel alive, go barefoot with you, and laugh with you. Doing too much can wear you out, cause stress, and affect you physically. Consider just being for a moment. Break your list down to those items you can look forward to. “Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.”
Schedule rest time. Read a book, take a walk in the woods, curl up for a short nap, call the kids or grandkids to say hi, or find your own way to rest. Take time just for you to recharge.
Enjoy today. There will always be something that needs to be done, that you want to do, people you need to see, events to attend. Plan ahead, but then trust your planning and relax, knowing that your plan is balanced, you can handle it, and enjoy what is on your list for today - whatever it is.
There are many things on my to-do list for this summer. It includes a visit to my mother, meeting our new granddaughter, waiting for our new grandson to be born, and hosting all of our children and grandchildren for a week at Lakeside. On our way to meet Maeve in New Hampshire, I have added a short trip to Acadia National Park in Maine to break up the journey. We will take time to enjoy the beauty of Acadia which will allow us to arrive at our son and daughter-in-law’s refreshed and energized, ready to be of help while we are there. It will be a special time with our two granddaughters and their parents. I appreciate my husband accepting that I needed to take more time for the drive.
Last weekend here in Ohio was beautiful. I took time away from my to-dos and walked in a nearby park by myself one afternoon. I said hello to the geese and savored the sounds of birds and bullfrogs as I walked around the pond. A mother goose hissed at me as I walked past her goslings, so worried I would bother them. It reminded me of being the mother of young children and how protective I had been. I walked by letting her know I was in my own world and wasn’t coming into hers. Once home I took a few minutes to sit and reflect on my walk, reminiscing about years gone by and feeling blessed for where I am today. Then I returned to my to-do list, refreshed and ready to tackle my next project. I hope you try to do the same this season. Keep the Balance. Then, as Nat King Cole sings, “you’ll wish that summer could always be here.”
Self-Compassion
The May newsletter was sent out on May 2, an edition on self-compassion. We all need to remember to take care of ourselves, especially this time of year when we feel there is so much to do. Taking care of the yard, spring cleaning, attending end of school year events as parents and grandparents, bringing out the next season’s clothing, etc. It’s a wonder we think about us at all. One of the quotes shared in the newsletter hits home. Christopher Germer’s quote is “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we give to others.” What a wonderful concept. Kindness for ourselves.
The April retreat at Lakeside allowed each woman in attendance to contemplate on giving themselves kindness, to take time to think about where she’s been and where she are going. To embrace her life. One of the women wore a wonderful t-shirt. As the t-shirt said, we are all perfectly imperfect, or as Joan Anderson would say, we are all “unfinished.” How wonderful it is to relax when we can embrace those thoughts. Each of us matters, each of us makes a difference. We are meant to find joy in our life and continue our journey. So find something each day that brings you joy. It’s there, you just have to look.
Anticipation
Spring is a time of anticipation. We are impatient for warmer days, more sunshine, flowers blooming, trees blossoming, and beginning our gardens. It is a time of renewal, cleaning out, and being inspired. Anticipation is high as we come out of hibernation and make plans for the coming months. Our neighbors haven’t been seen much during the past cold months, but as the weather improves, they will start to emerge as well. This year will be the first after a couple of long Covid years, that we may anticipate being together a little more. Covid is still around, but we have weathered the storm and hopefully have seen the worst of the pandemic. Time to learn our new normal.
Spring is also a chance to retreat. I am preparing for the next Lakeside retreat, April 29 - May 1, to share time and community with a group of women ready to find strength from their past and embrace the lives they have. The anticipation is part of the experience for me, and hopefully, for them as well. An email communicates with each retreater on a weekly basis during the last month as we prepare to share this special time together.
Please consider sharing with me here, or in a personal email, what you are anticipating this spring. Your ideas may be the inspiration someone else is looking for. It is time to stretch our bodies and our minds as we step out of hibernation and into the sunshine and beauty ahead. I look forward to hearing from each of you.
The Dash -
My timing to visit my mother this month was perfect. I was in Austin with her when she learned that her older brother was dying in Baltimore. It was so good to be with her during that time to listen to her memories of growing up in the foothills of the Appalachians. I was also able to be with her in West Virginia the following week for his funeral. We stayed in the home she grew up in, now owned by one of my cousins. She slept in her parents’ bedroom while I slept in the bedroom full of memories from my childhood visits: sounds, sights, smells, and so much love. My aunt, mother, brothers, and cousins laid my uncle to rest on the land that he loved on his 95th birthday. His oldest daughter gave a wonderful eulogy to celebrate his life as she talked about his legacy.
As we were together, two poems came to mind, written about the dash on our headstones, the years between our birth and death. We don’t often realize how quickly time passes or how we sometimes squander the precious moments given to us. Each poem points out how we want to come to the end of our dash without regrets or unhealed relationships. When our time comes, our hopes are that we will be remembered by how much we loved and by the part of us we left with those around us. As Linda Ellis wrote in her poem, “What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash. So, think about this long and hard. Are there things you'd like to change? For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged. If we could just slow down enough to consider what's true and real.” We are still unfinished, still working on our dash. As spring starts to bloom, I hope you will slow down and take time to look for the possibilities right in front of you as you reflect on your dash and continue to stretch forward.
Valentine's Day
Happy Valentine’s Day to you. Whether you are in a relationship, have children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, siblings, dear friends, a four legged companion, or are by yourself, today is the day for showing you care for someone. The holiday provides a chance to tell a special person how much they mean to you. Pick up the phone to say “I’m thinking about you today.” Drop an email or text to someone far away. Make a special dinner, whether for yourself or a group. Take some time to celebrate you! You are the most special person in any relationship. Today is for YOU.
Make it a point to look for some joy in your life today. What makes you smile, laugh or want to share with others? How can you build on that to make today special and make tomorrow even brighter?
I send Valentine’s greetings from Ohio to all of you. When you read my blogs, newsletters, send me emails, or attend a retreat, you fill my cup. As my journey continues, I find that inspiring women to reflect on your own journey and rediscover your passion for life is where I belong. I am excited about the March online retreat and the in-person retreat at Lakeside in April. If you are unable to take time for a weekend retreat, consider joining us for the one-day online retreat March 26, Finding Purpose Today. It’s not too late to register for either event, and it’s never too late to care for yourself. On this holiday of love, give the gift of retreat to you. As Lucille Ball said, “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.”
Nourish Yourself
I spent last Saturday at my local community center for a day long women’s retreat with the purpose of recharging and rejuvenating. We were led by Lydia, a trained counselor, who is the director of the center. She had us blowing bubbles, tossing balls, journaling, and meditating. We met new women, shared stories, and enjoyed an inspirational video while staying warm inside while the outdoor temperature was in the single digits. Lunch included a true comfort food, chicken noodle soup. It was so nice to be with a group of women willing to share their thoughts, fears and delights. We laughed and respected each person’s journey. We all need to nourish ourselves at least once a year.
Stretching Forward has two opportunities for nourishment and retreat this spring. Consider joining us either on-line in March or in-person at Lakeside in April. Retreat is a time for you - to relax, refresh, rejuvenate, and return to your world ready for what’s next. It took me too many years to appreciate the importance of taking care of myself. If I had learned at a younger age, my world would have been easier to navigate, my children might have had a better mom and role model, and I would have had less stress in my life. Thankfully, as I have learned, it is never too late. I now look for opportunities to retreat, whether a week long retreat on a Scottish island, or a two hour on-line program. When I take time for me, I have more to give to those I love. Let’s embrace our lives each day and remember that today is what matters most.
Celebrating Retirement
Many years ago I had a friend who was past the typical retirement age for teaching, but still working. People often asked him why he was still teaching. His answer was, “As long as I am having fun and making a difference, there is nothing I would rather do.” I understood how he felt, as I too, loved my job at the time.
I graduated from college in the 70’s, and during my career worked in three hospitals, as a staff nurse on five floors, a manager for two units, an IT team leader for computers in the hospital, and spent the last nineteen years of my career in staff development. I loved every position. Nursing is a wonderful profession that includes long hours, holidays, weekends, overtime, and exhaustion. It also includes knowing you made a difference in someone’s life, almost every day. It is the most caring profession I know. I looked forward to the challenges each position provided, whether affecting patients or employees.
The nicest compliment I ever had was when my manager told me that some people have a job, many have a career, but she felt I had a calling. I gave it my best every day I walked in the door. I knew the day would come that I didn’t feel that way anymore and that it would be time to leave. My boss, the chief nursing officer, was surprised when I offered my resignation letter, giving five week’s notice to wrap everything up. When asked if I would stay on as needed, I declined. It was a time for change in my life. So many of us are afraid of change, but I like to look at the future as a challenge. I have wonderful memories of so many of my peers, and stay in contact with many of them. We laugh about times we enjoyed and times that were tough. I am proud to say that I am still a registered nurse.
Today is the anniversary of my retirement from St. John Medical Center. It has been six years since I said goodbye. I have no regrets and have not looked back. I took a year or so to decompress and look at what was next, but to me, retirement wasn’t saying life is over. It was more like, what’s next? I founded Stretching Forward after taking time to reflect on what mattered most to me. Since before leading the first Stretching Forward retreat in 2018, I have loved what I do. I hope you find inspiration and a little inner guidance from the blog, newsletters, website, retreats, and emails. As I stretch forward this year, my word for 2022 is Create. One of the things I am creating is a new retreat entitled, “Celebrating What’s Right With Your World” which will be offered this fall. Stay tuned as the year continues for more details. It is a work in progress.
We all have everything we need inside ourselves to make our world the best it can be, no matter what we are going through at the time. I hope you took time in December to list five things from 2021 that made a difference in your life. And also a list of five hopes for 2022. If not, take time now to make the lists. Reflect back on them in a few months. Look at where you are today and know that where you are going is worth celebrating. We are all stretching forward, day by day.
Good bye 2021
We are at the end of another year. That means we are ready to begin a new year. Each year we have hope for the future and all it will bring. I used to think it would be nice to know what was ahead, but as I’ve gotten older, I like to believe I’ve gotten wiser. Taking each day as it comes seems to work best for me. Savoring what is now allows me to stay present.
Each year I find a special word to be my mantra for the year. For the year 2021 my word has been RESILIENCE. A photo of a tree I saw in Utah several years ago hangs on the wall above my desk with the word Resilience added to the bottom of the photo. The tree has been around for years and has had many twists and turns in its life but it still reaches for the sky. The tree appears to be growing out of rock, but we know that it has deep roots nourishing it. I feel like that tree. There have been many twists and turns in my life, but my roots are deep and keep me steady, most of the time. Each branch has a story. Some of joy and love, others sorrow or pain, but each one contributes to who I am today. The tree reminds me to keep stretching forward.
So as I consider my word for 2022, I thank resilience for the difference it has made in my outlook each day of 2021. What will your word be this year? Please take time to consider the year ahead. Let your word speak to you as something to strive for, to stretch towards. I hope you will share yours with me in the comments below. I will let you know what I come up with.
